I’m not entirely sure I have the skills or knowledge to participate within society. I’ve spent all of my energy trying to do my best in school and graduate with a solid portfolio, and now what? I am living with my parents in the middle of absolute no where, so there are NO opportunities. Trying to find a summer job is proving to be more difficult than I thought; my previous plan for work is not as solid as I had originally thought it was. Trying to find an actual job in Pittsburgh while not living there or having many connections there is limiting. How am I going to make it out of here? I really feel like I have fought harder than most people trying to escape the rural Appalachian hills of my family, yet I am finding more and more obstacles in my way. Everyone keeps saying not to worry about it, but (excuse my French) how in the absolute fuck am I supposed to do that? I just want to cry and crawl into a hole. I just need a job. Please universe, if there were ever a time when I could use some assistance it is now.

Is it possible to become a tree? I would much rather be a tree. Home to birds and squirrels and such; giver of life. To live long in the days of sunshine and rain, taking root in the earth but also giving back to it. Instead I am in this shell that is a human which refuses to do what is necessary for “success” in life.

I just want to be a tree, where just by being alive I am a success.

I am no tree. No mighty oak. Only, me.